the home stretch:)

with one month left in nepal, my emotions seem incredibly scattered. I woke up this morning wondering where in the world time has gone. I'm sitting in our favorite coffee shop with the sun beaming through the windows listening to worship music and just in awe of what God has done in my own heart and in this nation over the past two months. I just skyped my family, and words just cannot express how excited i am to see their faces. I have so so deeply missed them.

I'm privileged to be standing on this soil for four more weeks. I'm honored to release the name of Jesus over hearts that have never heard. I'm humbled that He has chosen me for such a time as this, to be here, during this season. I'm wondering the changes that God has done in my heart. The things He has shifted, retied, opened up, dug up and then thrown out, refined, and planted in my heart. I'm excited to process all of this. I'm anxious to see my awaken family in kona and hear stories from all over the globe. I'm curious about the ways they have changed the nations they are in. The world is not the same as it was two months ago. The Father has welcomed home more sons and daughters.
Eternities were changed.
A family got bigger.

So, yes, I have a lot of emotions. All over the board. But my heart is full right now and ready to run hard for one more month after Him.

A lot has happened over the past month. But I just want to share one story that has altered my life a lot. It's been about 2 years since I felt like God has given me a heart for sex trafficking. I haven't known what to do with it, I've prayed for this industry and for these men and women trapped in this bondage. I've watched documentaries. Read stories. I've had it spoken over my life again and again during DTS from person after person. God's given me crazy dreams and vision for the future about sex trafficking and what I feel like He wants me to do. All beautiful things. exciting things. I've never felt more ready to run after something than I am with this. God has given me His heart for this like nothing else ever before. This is one huge mountain to move. and I'm stoked, because God is going to do it.

But two nights ago, I was in the midst of it. We entered into a part of the city that turns into a crazy world of sex trafficking, drugs, and alcohol as the sun falls. We spent most of the day worshipping and in prayer just asking for Gods heart and strength and protection as we go in. Me, another girl, and two guys on my team went into a dance bar soon after we got there.

Loud music. crowds everywhere. lights flashing. smoke filling the room. the wrench of alcohol. screaming. you can feel the weight of darkness. i'm scared. overwhelmed. ready to crack and run out the door.

and then i see. i see the girls that are 'dancers' here. they are beautiful women. i look into their eyes and there is nothing. no hope. no life. it's almost like they are dead. they have lost every bit of self worth and dignity in them. they dance with no emotion. its like they are puppets. it took everything in me not to run into the back room and grab these women and sprint out of the building with them. i didn't know how to just look normal while i was sitting there. we ordered cokes and just started to pray that God would open doors to conversations. i looked at the booth next to ours and watched as men tried to grab girls sitting next to them and whisper in their ears and the girls resist with everything in them and you can just see how much they hate what they do. you can tell they are trapped. its the most heart breaking scene thats been played in front of my eyes. I was asking God to show me what to do, to show me how to love these people. Soon after, one girl came up to me and just asked my name and told me how pretty I was and wanted to know where I was from. This happened 3 different times with different girls and I just got to try and love them for a few minutes. Each one told me they hated working there. You could see their desperation for love. I just pray that they could tell something was different in us. They didn't speak English too well, and so i asked one girl if I could talk to a girl who spoke English. She went into the back room and a guy came out holding a girls neck. He walked her to our booth and sat her down. With hesitation and resistance, she sat, with her head hung low and eyes fearful.

Her name is "Baby". She is 18. She is in the city alone. She hates working there but she is uneducated and doesn't know what else to do. She told me how much she missed her family. The second she realized that all I wanted to do was hear her story, she was beaming with joy. She couldn't stop smiling. It was like she had a little bit of life restored. I got to tell her how much Jesus loved her and we exchanged phone numbers. We have texted since then and I am meeting with her today. I have become her only friend here. I'm beyond excited to see where this goes and how God is going to move. Please pray that God would breakthrough this relationship and move in her heart. That she'd be free from this bondage and set free.

We feel really called to do this nightly, pretty much until Thanksgiving. Were stoked to invest in this so much over the next few weeks. So prayers for this would be so appreciated!

We are learning that ministry is loving the person in front of you. That everyday God has crazy divine appointments set up for you to love the person right in front of you. Learning to stop for the one. We can have plans and agendas, and those are great, but He sometimes has different ones, set up at different times:)

As I celebrated my 23rd birthday here in Nepal, I am overjoyed and beyond thankful for the 8 people I get to be here with.

My team spent a chunk of time in the morning just affirming me and encouraging me. The girls took me to make homemade banana bread at a dear friends house for the morning, including a hot shower (best birthday gift ever), when I got home the guys on my team had decorated our house with balloons and streamers, bought me yellow flowers, made me lunch, and even had gotten a present. We hung out for a bit and got in two taxis that soon dropped us off at the movie theatre..we saw Lion King in 3D. It was awesome. The day was beautiful. I will call these people family forever. They have dug such a special, deep place in my heart I don't think I knew people could get to. These eight are going to change this world. Just watch.


"when your memories are greater than your dreams, you're already beginning to die" This quote has been on my heart for a while now. I am someone who so easily can dwell on the past, or think a certain time of my life was 'the best' and have this crazy fear that nothing will compare. It's like when people tell you that 'college is the best four years of your life'- well that's great, but then what do we have to look forward to? It's almost depressing hearing that. Like we might as well not expect great things for our futures.
But get this, we have a God who promises that He is taking us from "glory to glory". Meaning it just gets better. and bigger. If we let Him take us there:)
"and we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another." 2 corinthians 3:18.

I'm learning that there is always more. there is always new places to see, new people to meet, new food to try, new adventures to embark on. There is always more of this crazy beautiful God we serve to discover. and who am I that I get to spend the rest of my life having my eyes opened to who He is and being romanced by the most amazing God? it's insane. and sometimes overwhelming. this life He has given us. and the gifts He pours out. He's so, so good. Keep dreaming friends:)

It's been trying being away for so long from my family and dear friends. You don't realize how long six month is until you are in the midst of it. Time is flying, that's for sure, but my heart beats a little bit faster when I think about reuniting with my family and friends. When I see you all and get to look at your faces and hug you and tell you about this beautiful journey face to face. When I get to tell you with my own mouth and eyes how Jesus has radically altered my life.

I am learning how to chose joy. how to wake up and despite circumstances or feelings, to chose joy. that joy really is my strength.

"we have the most joyful being living inside of us."
if that doesn't stop and blow your mind, i don't know what will.

There has been so much joy in the past two months. so much challenge. refining. tears. so much laughter. more than anything else, so much love. love has been absolutely redefined. in and out and up and down.
love has never been more real.
more alive.

Love you all so much:) Just 5 more weeks.